How many of us make food a drug? Can I get a show of hands? I have discussed with others that I would venture to say that 99% of women at some point in their lives will form some form of relationship with food ( whether it be extreme or not) How sad is that? It breaks my heart.
So yesterday was an awful day. One of those "etch in my mind and you'll always remember that day" kind of awful. I try to be Positive Patty most of the time, but yesterday... yesterday rocked me.
And I know, that's life. Side Note: I hate that phrase. I also hate the phrase "well that's just real life." It's always negative. My "real life" will be enjoyed. My "real life" will be finding joy in all situations. Soap box for another day..
Point of this post: How did I deal?
I'm not even kidding you. Some of my thoughts were "I am going to eat so so much. I just want a burger and fries and a bucket of ice cream. I DESERVE IT." Wait, what?
There is one thing that I've done in that thought. I've made my situation worse. Far too many times, we turn to food as the answer to help emotionally get through an issue. We think that somehow we DESERVE food. Yes, you do deserve food. You deserve food on a daily basis. You don't "deserve food" because something bad has happened.
I find those thoughts funny. I have them sometimes, and it's so clearly my past talking. It's somewhat of an out of body experience. It feels like a thought that is literally not my own, and I laugh at it. Sometimes, I'll have thoughts of "just don't eat today" and I know that's my past. It's so bizarre to me though because one time I literally laughed out loud and told Tanner the thought that had just popped in my mind. It's so ridiculous. It makes no sense.
Why is food a drug? Why do we do the things that we do and have relationships with food? It's not the ACTUAL food. It's the comfort we find in those neurotransmitters going to our brain and it's the self image that follows that we torment ourselves with.
Let me be clear, and I mean this in the most loving way to free you from your relationship with food if you have one. No one cares what you look like. I don't go to bed wondering what you weigh. Your boyfriend doesn't go to bed wondering how much you weigh or what you look like. Your mom doesn't care. Your friends don't care. The people that pass you on the street don't care. Literally, the only person that cares what you look like and what you weigh is YOU. This is because it has no effect on life. It means nothing about the person that you are, the way that you conduct yourself professionally, athletically, or personally. We always bring back the phrase "being comfortable in our skin" which is true and I want that for everyone but why are you uncomfortable? If your clothes are too tight, I get that. That's uncomfortable. But is your skin uncomfortable? No. We have made this association because we feel SELF CONSCIOUS about the image that others see in us.
When you get to the bottom of it, food is the drug because of the body that is created from the intake of food. We deprive ourselves constantly chasing this image because that's what we THINK others want of us when really it's just what WE want of ourselves. Then we have a hard situation and we reward ourselves making food a drug.
To end this blog ( that could literally be pages upon pages if I'm not careful on this topic), what can you do to stop this trend?
For me personally, I look to find the joy in the one that think that is constant and that is Jesus. He never changes, and he is always faithful. He is always abundantly giving, and talk about "deserving." He rushes to me in those moments, and screams:
"I am here. You are deserving. You DESERVE so much more than the food that you use as your drug. You are deserving of far greater than you can imagine because you limit yourself to the desires of this world. You are deserving of a passionate love story. You are deserving to have a great relationship with your family. You are deserving of a nice home, and a great church community, and great kids because I love you and I want good things for you. You are deserving to live a life FREE of a relationship of food but you are NOT deserving of a rocking body because honestly My Child, when you get to heaven, none of that matters. No one sees the way that your world sees. I love you for your soul. Your body is simply a vessel to continue my work until you get to your eternal home."