If you want to talk about something that really gets me super excited, let's talk about an iron will.
I believe I have one. I get asked many times where my motivation comes from, and I think it started young. I have always wrote out huge goals for myself that more often than not, I never achieved but that never stopped me from pursuing those dreams. I think that it takes some time to figure out where your iron will and your God given potential line up before things start to become clear. Mine became clear about two years ago when I started in the world of fitness. I have had so many wonderful things happen since then, my passion and my fire have grown steadily by the hour almost I feel like, and I am bound and determined to hold on for the long haul that this journey takes me.
I'm so candid so I want to share some successes and some intense failures of my heart from growing up and always having the heart to want to pursue more.
I set a goal to get the most AR points in the 4th grade to become the "principle for the day." My mom literally had to pry books out of my hands that year, and I made it. I would sit at home like Matilda with books beside me. I have always been an entrepreneur which is why it's weird how my career ended up other than "the need to feel successful" so I would constantly envision things I could sell. One time I walked around 4 neighborhoods collecting money to give to homeless people just knocking on doors.
In high school, I yearned so badly to make varsity soccer as a freshmen and I did. However, in high school, I also wanted more than anything to be captain of the cheerleading squad, and it never happened. And it hurt me to my core if I'm being candid because of my passion for things that I love. I never told a soul (until now) but I cried so much that night that I wasn't chosen. I wanted to prove I could make a college squad so I literally spent every waking moment teaching myself to tumble (I couldn't tumble until my senior year) and went to try outs at Appalachian State, and by the grace of God, I made it.
I was the same way with boys, and so when I say I get my heart broken in a big way, I mean it. It's quite embarrassing (ha) but with my iron will comes big emotions. If I love you, I love you to my core. That includes friendships. So, whether it be a friend who talked bad about me or a relationship that ended tragically, I have a really hard time moving on. Really. Hard.
I wanted to go to UNC Chapel Hill my entire life. I have always and will always be the person that it doesn't come easy but I refuse to back down. However, sometimes intelligence is something you can't always force so that was not going to happen. I literally tailored my life to get into that school, and I will never forget the day that I got my letter that I was not accepted. I just couldn't even breathe. It was gut wrenching.
When I was declined my school, I told myself I would never be declined a doctorate. I WOULD BE A DOCTOR. And I became one. I know y'all are going to want to slap me for saying this but sometimes I wonder if my heart was pure in that. Did I want to become a doctor to become successful or did I want to become a doctor to make money? I don't know, but I am one so that's cool. Ha.
Becoming an adult athlete is actually not surprising at all to be when I look back at my life. My past of disorder eating came from my iron will because I refused to be anything but the best at App for cheerleading which meant being the smallest right? That certainly backfired.
I never want to settle. I never want to look at something and think I could have done better. It's more than a perfectionist thing (because honestly, I could really pay more attention to detail) but rather more just strictly seeing how far I can push myself mentally and now that I've discovered fitness, physically. Some will never understand me. I get told I try too hard, I am too sensitive, I am too meek, I am too this and I am too that. Honestly, y'all may think I'm exaggerating but I have this personality that apparently welcomes people to tell me how they feel and they don't hold back.
However, I know the motivation that comes from my soul to fulfill my God designed purpose on my life and I won't back down. I am a pharmacist who is creating a fitness business. Why waste my time right? I have this degree so why would I do this? Because I've found my passion. I've found what wakes me up in the morning and pushes me every day to see what new limits this world has to offer. What's even cooler is that I've brainstormed enough that I am finding how to combine the two!!! The end vision is to open a clinic with Tanner that helps people manage disease states and medication regimes with their diet and exercises. OH SNAP! Stay tuned ;)
I look at the world as a playground. I see so much. I see my dreams and my aspirations like right in front of my face if I could just touch them and each day I just like to give a little bit of my voice. You'll never hear me say all of this out loud because it's just coming from my heart and into my fingers and I mean it. I know the fitness industry is so saturated right now and I'm not trying to become some superstar however I just want to be a small light that says "Hey, I'm here and I really care. I'm really passionate." I want to change the way that we look at fitness. I want to change the way that we look at ourselves in the mirror. I want it to be driven by your God given potential whatever that may be to achieve a goal that you set before yourself, not for your body, not for your appearance but because you have the iron will and the determination to get there. I just want to help people to see what's inside of themselves and pursue that with all of their hearts.
With love and passion,