Oh my goodness at the support and responses yesterday! Keep it up! Tell me about your lives and let me get to know you better!!! Yay for comments!
I hate even addressing this part of my life, but every so often, I bring it up to make a point. I have noticed a trend that many that have suffered from the pits of an eating disorder say. They always say that you'll never full recover but that you just learn how to cope.
I beg to differ.
I don't think about it. I don't talk about it. I don't worry about my body image. I don't worry about anxiety over food. I travel frequently without fear. The only time that I think about the struggles that I used to have is when other people always talk about it.
I think that with any problem that we have whether that be in our country or in our own lives, the more that we bring it up, the more that we fester on it.
I never want this to be a replacement for not opening up about what is going on in your life and bringing light to the darkness is always such a restorative move, but I just don't want to be defined by that anymore. It is a part of my story...it is a large part but it has nothing to do with my life anymore.
I think there is a story that everyone can relate to. I think that so many girls can relate to the women that say that they once had an eating disorder and were able to get out of the depths of it and "cope" but that is will always be apart of who they are, and they they just have mechanisms to deal with normal life better. I think that many girls can relate to that.
I want to be another voice. I want to be a voice of hope that "yes you can". Yes you can leave it ALL behind. I don't want to be a voice that you have to count macros to get past it or that you have to run marathons to get past it. I just want to be a voice that if all of those things were set to the side, I would still be fine. I would still not think about it. I'm past it. It does not define me.
I wrote a blog on this and I can't tell you when the thoughts stopped or when all of the habits stopped but they did and they are gone...for good. They haven't come back.
I was told I could never fully recover, but my God is bigger. I was told that I could learn to cope but my God had a different plan for my life. A life of restoration. A life that I can look forward to every single day knowing that none of that defines who I am anymore, and that can be you too. Don't ever give up hope that it can be. Don't ever feel trapped because you are told that you will never fully be better.
I mean that. You CAN if you believe it. My husband always told me that I never believed my prayers, and he was so right. I was praying with a hopeless heart as if I was doomed forever. I decided to transfer that weight into my faith. Transfer the guilt and shame that I felt into someone who could take care of me that was bigger than myself. You are NOT doomed forever, but you have to believe in yourself first. You have to take actionable steps that lead to a life of freedom.
"He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds."-Psalm 147:3