Wow. Just wow. I can't believe I'm writing this post, but I knew that it was going to happen soon-ish. I actually didn't expect it to be happening as fast as it did, but we know that our God's timing is perfect and for that, we are so thankful. I would like to start this post with saying that man, are we doubters? We know that our God is so good and yet we constantly worry and doubt the goodness of his plan in our lives, and then BAM everything is smooth sailing again. It's a good lesson for us each and every time of His grace and how we need to trust more.
It wasn't long ago that I was making a post about how we were going to stay in New York another year. Actually, I think that post was at Christmas so it's almost embarrassing that signed, sealed delivered, we are moving to North Carolina again. If you live in NYC, you would know that it's an ever changing decision for a lot of people daily. It's funny. You absolutely love it one second, and then you are thinking "WHY AM I HERE??" the next. I think he would be wiling to admit that I was more on the love side of the equation and Tanner was more on the WHY AM I HERE side. Haha! As a married couple though, that becomes morphed into one. That's how we roll in this household.
Before we left for Europe, we started searching for new studios to move into. We wanted to downsize even more to be able to afford loan payments and rent sensibly. We decided the smallest we could do was 500sqft and we were going to do it! Rent is expensive in New York City. It's absolutely-insane-o outrageous-make you wanna vomit every month type rent, but you pay it. It's just DIFFERENT there. Everyone hates it but we do it and we make it. We all make it work. We do community laundry, we wait for elevators, we ride in cramped crowded subways to not be late, and we are late for almost everything because it takes forever to get anywhere because you have to walk. Country people are always like WHYYYYYY?? Because you love it. There is an energy, a thrill, and there is just SOMETHING that always brings you back for more. I can't explain it but it's a different world up there. I am forever changed because of this year.
I do not know the exact turning point although I could tell you a story or two about what Tanner has had to go through this year but he works 330-1130pm and he misses everything. I feel like I can't explain how much this affects someone unless you live in the same house. All the good of New York-the friendships, the nights out with friends, dinner dates, bible study, and even our church meets in the evenings (and he works every third weekend), he missed. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "Where's Tanner?" .... "He's at work." All he got to experience was the hassle of NYC (walking miles and miles, packed subways, carrying all groceries, community laundry) and it wasn't fair to him. I don't want this to sound like we are complaining. He loved the job and the people and constantly said he just wanted to be thankful to be working but the time was just NOT going to change. With the union, it's impossible to get another job and all hospitals are going to start you on evening shift for the first 5 years anyway to "pay your dues". This affected me to because I literally would say Tanner and I have had dinner in the city a total of 8-10 times in one year, maybe less. We did the breakfast/lunch date thing but it's not the same. I didn't always want to go to events because I wanted my stinkin husband there! haha!
Soon after, he fell upon his dream job in Charlotte. I have to say that I was like "but we are staying one more year" until I just realized how Tanner was just putting his life on pause for me. He was grinding day in and day out just to make me happy in a place that he wasn't happy. And quite frankly, I can be happy anywhere. That's when I knew it was time. I told him to apply. He said he wasn't qualified by what they posted. I was like "dude, apply anyway" with an emphasis on the dude. He applied to other jobs in the meantime and didn't hear anything for a few weeks and got really defeated. He finally decided to just go for it. WHY NOT? YOLO!!! They contacted him the next day. CAN THE WIFE GET A "I TOLD YOU SO" POINT? ;)
The process has moved very quickly. They did a phone interview, then flew him down for a day long in person interview. This was about one week ago. He got the phone call yesterday that he was officially offered the position as the new Clinical Oncology Pharmacist position at CMC's extension in Shelby. So, he will be training in Charlotte for the first three months and then will be the first pharmacist at their new Levine center in Shelby. This makes me a very proud wife! :)
For those that are familiar with pharmacy, he only has a PGY1 and so to fill in the gap of that PGY2 oncology specialty, he is going to get board certified in oncology (BCOP).
Have you been wondering why I'm in North Carolina? Now you know. Our lease ran up in New York and originally we were going to get a new place, but this happened way too fast. We are so thankful for that, but it's also bittersweet. I didn't want to inconvenience anyone, so I have been sleeping at my moms house. I'm going to go back up for the final 3 weeks to spend time with friends and church family.
That brings me to my personal emotion, which is the most bittersweet feeling I've ever felt. New York City is glamorous but it's not always glamorous or nearly as romantic as it seems all the time. It's HARD but it's also amazing. My love is so big for this place on the map. But what's more glamorous is getting to kiss the chubby cheeks of my nephew as he grows up, and to hold my grandmothers hand whenever I want when she's sick. It's exceptionally glamorous knowing that I'm going to be eating dinner with my husband. We have yet to have a "real life" type life together as we have been in pharmacy school, residency, or him working evening shift and it's so exciting to think about just living life with my husband. AHHH BLISS!
As I'm typing this though, I'm in tears. Brandy Whitley is the best friend I've ever known, and we will finally be separating and know that we won't be living in the same place again. I have made so many other best friends that I just can't imagine not seeing all the time. There is no explanation for how much we love our church-Apostles NYC. It has CHANGED us. Apostles is the reason that we will be the people that we are for the rest of our lives. I'm so sad to leave but I'm also so happy for the opportunities ahead. We are going to buy a house in the foreseeable future, and we want to eventually start our own family! This is all SO exciting!!!!
So with that, I'll leave you with the fact that no matter what, I'm now the hugest fan of taking a leap of faith and going for your dream. Always. Never think it's not possible because you can and will make it work. We doubted God this entire process, and he had everything lined up just perfect. It's about time we start listening. We have had the time of our lives, and we will remember this year for the rest of our lives.
With love and big moves,