I feel as if I might ruffle some feathers today, but we all have our own opinions so I hope that we can all be respectful of one another like mature adults, and have genuine conversations about this vs defensiveness.
LADIES-PLEASE STOP SHOWING YOUR CLEAVAGE AND YOUR BUTT TO THE ENTIRE INTERNET.
Let me explain. I'm not some high and mighty Christian girl that wants to tell you how to live your life. I'm not trying to tell you to not be body confident and not show what you are proud that you have done. I'm not saying that it's okay that women's bodies are made into sexual objects, and that we have to placate the arousal of men. I'm not saying any of that, so do NOT hear me wrong on this.
But, the fact of the matter is, our naked bodies are sexual. Point blank. And yea we can buck the system and be all I'LL DO WHAT I WANT and that's fine, but it's unfair to other women who have to deal with their men looking at your bare ass with the click of a button opening their instagram (Sorry). When people say that it's society's fault for sexualizing women, I'm like "that's like blaming an apple for being edible." It is what it is. That's just a fact. A butt and boobs are sexual things and that's not going to change. Yes, boobs provide nutrition and I'm all for breast feeding, so lord, let us not even go there, but when Eve ate the apple, being naked became indecent exposure to which in public, you can be arrested because...they these parts of our bodies are sexual. But it's not the full thing? Well no, but it's a peep show of what could be there so it's a tease and makes men (and women) want to go further.
Let me just tell you a little story. Tanner comes home from church today (I'm a heathen and skipped due to training) and he was like "I've decided to delete instagram off my phone."
I would first like to pause and say that I'm VERY thankful for a very communicative and healthy marriage. Like forreal, I'm not just acting like we are secure and rosy on the internet when really we struggle at home. No. Like we are genuinely a very happy, secure, couple. We don't do jealousy and all that silliness. AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!
So, when he says he's deleting instagram, I'm like "oh okay whatever, you don't use it anyway." I think the last time he posted was over a month ago (August 7th actually). He says that he literally logs on like every week maybe, goes to his favorite pages and he will go to my page, like all of my pictures (ha) and then doesn't touch instagram again. But in order to find his favorite pages, he doesn't scroll. He goes to the search tab to search them. What's on the search tab? The explore page. And what do you find on the explore page? Pages that are customized to what they think that you will like.
My husband follows NO SEXUAL accounts. He follows ZERO fitness girls other than me. The only people in that realm that he follows are bodybuilder guys. He tells me that when he goes to that search page, his entire explore page is women and their half naked bodies and he feels immediate weird guilt like "oh my gosh, I'm seeing something that I shouldn't!" Praise Jesus for holy men!! I'm very lucky, I know, and maybe you are thinking my husband is a prude, but whatever, I'll take it.
I log onto his account to see what he's talking about as we are talking. And yall, please look at what it has.
So, I'm just like getting mad, not for me, not for my marriage and my husband seeing this because like forreal, who cares THAT much about one time? We see sexual images constantly. I'm not that insecure however I think about the marriages that aren't as secure. I think about the women that I know that are dating men and their explore pages look this way and they certainly aren't saying 'oh my gosh, I shouldn't be looking at this. I'm going to delete my instagram.' NOPE. NOT ONE BIT. They are clicking on those images in their spare time. I thought "I'll just click on one and see where this takes me." And look what the first one is!
HOTTEST GIRLS ON INSTAGRAM-GYM GIRLS CERTIFIED. OOOO LOOK AT ALL THE HALF NAKED BODIES. I honestly was disgusted just thinking about how easily in ONE click I was on a basically porn instagram. You are going to tell me it's not porn so I decided to look up a defintion.
Porn- television programs, magazine, books, etc. that are regarded as emphasizing the sensuous or sensational aspects of a nonsexual subject and stimulating a compulsive interest in their audience.
I totally understand the fitness industry, and I've actually gotten less hyper aware of the booty shots because it's just like, "whatever, everyone does it" and they are just part of the "fitfam in crowd" but the truth is that there are men, husbands, sons, wives, daughters, boyfriends, girlfriends all of the world who are looking at these images and are aroused (I'm NOT saying this is okay because what they are doing is NOT okay but again, it's just what happens). It's just human nature, and it takes a serious effort to be able to know deep down that what you are doing is not right as a husband or wife to click away once you are there.
I really do not want this to be an article that is just putting down women for being proud of themselves. I'm not saying they have to cover their bodies to appease naughty men. It gets me all worked up when people act like that's the reasoning. NO JUST NO. It's not about that. Every single person knows that these are provocative images and for some reason, in today's day and age, I have to write a blog post about how these ARE sexual images (what a time to be alive). They KNOWWWW they look sexual and good, and they want the influx of likes, followers, and attention that comes along with that. Post a picture of your body one time and see the engagement that it gets. I've been there. It's VERY real. Be confident enough in your sexual being and your body that you don't freakin need to post it.
Anonymously, I want to share a story of a friend of mine who is dating a guy who literally follows chicks and pages that just show that all day long. I mean they are genuinely porn pages from what I understand, and he literally doesn't even see the harm. It's just like not even a big deal when he opens his phone and instagram and those images are on his newsfeed. It's not like he jumps back and wants to hide it. Nope. We have become so numb to the female body sexualized that it's not even special anymore. It's not even something that we have to wait for, crave for, marry a woman for. Nope. We don't have to pursue her because she will give it all up right there on the instagram feed so why even bother? And then we want to be mad that we are treated like objects? We objectify ourselves.
You are worth SO much. You have so much to offer that isn't your body. Don't give into the pressures of the new age of social media in which guys are "sliding into your DM." I hate that term so much and I know it's a joke but it's not when it's a 14 year old girl who doesn't have the maturity to understand what's going on. I literally vividly remember being 14 and going into a chat room and all these men were like asking me questions one time. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I was like weirdly excited but then I got scared so I signed off. Some girls don't get scared. Some girls continue the conversations, and they are taught that it's okay by their "idols" on instagram who show their bare cheeks to the world wide web. God bless you women raising teenage daughters in today's world. I just can't even imagine.
The longer this rant has continued, the more I've become less politically correct, and I genuinely am not trying to upset anyone who may do this. I just genuinely want women to just think before they post. Think about the young girls that you are influencing. Think about the men who ARE looking at you like a piece of meat whether you want to be or think that's okay because THEY ARE. (I'm NOT saying this is okay and that we should not hold them to standards because they ARE held to standards but just that it does happen). Think about how you are just giving yourself for free right there on your feed. Your body is meant to be adored and cherished and not objectified so don't let it.
Girls in the fitness industry are not only giving up images, but they are giving up genuine real life sex to judges in bikini competitions, owners of big companies, and taking low doses of steroids to look the way that they look then preach balance. They post about Jesus under a shot of their boobs, and I just literally get emotional about the message that it spreads. I'm not saying everyone does it, because of course not, but it's a problem and it needs to be talked about instead of ignored.
I wish I wasn't just spewing judge-y blog posts and I wish there was something that I knew to be proactive to help change this, but I guess conversations are where it starts.