Humility and Joy in Change

Let's lighten this blog reading up a bit, shall we? Things have gotten too stiff around here! ;)

I was reading in my bible yesterday when I had a spare moment like around lunch (random I know) and I thought to myself "Wow, Where have you been?" It's crazy how sometimes it just snaps you back into reality. I came across this verse: 

"For his anger lasts only for a moment, but His favor lasts a lifetime; sadness may stay for the night but rejoicing comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5

Amen to that.

Yesterday in the heat of the moment, I was crying (OKAY I WAS SOBBING) and I kept saying "This training changed me. It made me this person that I'm not. It made me so isolated and now it's for nothing." Transparency for you right there folks! As I'm sitting there reading my bible, I think to myself, "Katie, seriously?" {Tanner's sweet as he just listened and let me cry-Side note he never just listens because he likes to fix things and sometimes I'm like YO DUDE I JUST WANNA CRY MMKAY?}

Every single day we wake up with a decision to make. Are we going to let the day rule us or are we going to rule the day? Do we let our circumstances define us or do we have joy regardless? For me personally, am I going to let the light of Christ that I have in my heart guide me or am I going to sink back into this human righteousness of what I think I deserve? I was so rocked by these thoughts that I was having. We all have a light that we can shine to everyone if we choose to or we can choose to not. 

I can go to this race and high five EVERY volunteer (because they have nothing to do with this) and I can stand my ground with how I feel about Ironman greed, and I can do it with a big smile on my face. The only thing that harnesses negative energy does is it hurts yourself. Every race that I've done, I legit love them all. I am just always so thankful for the opportunity and it makes the miles fly by and the memories so sweet. Those are the only memories I want to carry from this ironman. 

I was talking with a client on the phone yesterday. I don't do this often, but I really wanted to be able to discuss with her some things, and sometimes when I get that opportunity, I just smile. I smile at getting to put a voice to the names of the people that I've come to love over 6+ months of coaching. I smile at how they speak wisdom into my life even when I'm coaching them. She read me an excerpt from a book that she was addressing her own lack of humility and I thought, "Girllllll, you are speaking right to my soul." 

This won't be a direct exact quote from Humble Roots, but nevertheless, I have went to grab up this book as quickly as possible from Amazon to read it cover to cover.

When we see what others have, we covet it because deep down we think that’s what we deserve. At it’s root, pride confuses our identity with God’s and makes us think of ourselves as larger than we really are. But when we think of ourselves this way, we expect other people to think of us like this too. Without realizing it, we begin to expect more glory and honor because we actually believe ourselves to be better than they are.
— Humble Roots

OOOOOOOOH SNAP.

Her example had to do with the fact that she feels like everyone can lose weight but her, and my thought process went to "Why do all of these other people get a perfect race and mine isn't?" We can all find our thing right now that I think that we can relate this to and that's where the comparison trap comes in. We don't compare because we think that we are less than even though for so long, that's what I've thought. I think that we compare because deep down we all have this deep seeded lack of humility that we think we deserve MORE than. How amazing to look at others separate from your situation and be joyful for them for the things that they deserve, right? Why do we always have to make it about us? ;)

I can't wait to get out there and race leaving all of the variables aside! The plan right now is that we are going to do the full race with Ironman, and then Base Salts Performance has set up an entire room in the convention center where we can bring in our bike trainers and get in the final 3-4ish hours of riding after the race. Some will think this is absolutely ridiculous, and while I get that notion, I want to do the entire 140.6 miles in one day and be done. I know there are many that will say "Just do the next!" or "It's okay. You're still an ironman!" and that's awesome, but I just have to do this for myself. I also think about all of the wonderful memories that are going to be made with a room full of people on their trainers for 4 hours. There's nothing quite as special as endurance athletes who just won't freakin give up! LOL! We are lunatics, I know! ;) 

I'm leaving on in the morning for Wilmington! I can't wait to share this journey!

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