Election 2016 + The Struggle to Rest

HAAAAA, YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING THERE. NEGATIVE. NOPE.

I did however do a poll on my personal facebook which has friends from across the US and I tallied those of friends that live in the midwestern US and southwest US and on one post, she had them put their state and it looks as if MANY were represented. This is just an interesting poll that I wanted to share the results:

Mine: 133 Trump, 62 Hilary, 25 3rd party
Friend 1 (Midwest location): 75 Trump 8 Clinton 6 3rd party
Friend 2 (southwest): 256 trump 40 Clinton 12 3rd party

What I predict : Hilary will win anyway because of electoral votes and because our government doesn't want Trump (that is my PREDICTION and states nothing of opinion because again, I'm not going there).

What I found interesting: the only people who messaged me afraid to post their vote were Hilary supporters?? That's odd to me. Lol.

Maybe you'll click away now because I guess what my blog title is what you would call "click bait" but more than anything, I do want to say that I'm praying for our nation. I decided to literally sit down this morning, spend about 10 minutes in solid prayer. This isn't a "I hope so and so gets into office" but rather just all around prayer for our country.

Now, let's move on from that and go into this thing that I have realized from my client check ins that I'm not the only one that struggles with it, and that is the struggle to rest. No, I don't mean the struggle to not work out. That's not my struggle. Exercise addiction is very real, and I never want to take that topic lightly, but that's just not the kind of rest that I'm referring to today. I also am going to give you a little back story about myself before I go into how you might be able to relate (and you might be able to relate with my backstory as well).

When I looked into my future, I only saw goals when I graduated high school. The future was bright, and I was going to take every day as a new step to work towards my goals. I decided I wanted to try out for college cheerleading and spend my entire senior year devoted to going to the gym to learn to tumble (I didn't learn until my senior year). I wanted to try out as a flyer so I dieted more strict than what was necessary and wound up with a host of issues, but to me, it was the hustle (not going into that today lol).

I wanted to be a pharmacist, but that meant that I needed to make not just good grades, but straight A's and I wasn't a "natural" for lack of better words. I knew that it meant that I had to study every waking moment. I seriously was the best student. After class, I would study what we went over that day. Every single Friday night, after cheerleading practice, you could find me in the library. Every weekend, I would have a little fun but mostly with the thought in the back of my mind about the to do list for school I needed to get back to. Of course, they want you to be well rounded so I did all the leadership in clubs that I could possibly manage. Once I got into pharmacy school, the hustle became even greater. I had to accept that straight A's weren't going to happen for me, but I was going to work just as hard. For four years straight, I studied EVERY single day (besides maybe a few here and there). I had one best friend, and I met my husband but even they recognized that school of really huge importance to me and I was very focused.

I graduated pharmacy school, and decided to move to New York City. I thought I had finally made it until I entered into the busiest season of my life where I was working 40+ hours per week as an intern with two hours of commuting, studying for board exams, trying to start a business on the side because I had this social media thing going, and had just moved to this huge city. I decided after my internship that I was going to pursue blogging/coaching full time and that was obviously huge. I told Tanner I knew what work looked like from undergrad and pharmacy school and I'd put it in to make it work. I also decided this was when I was going to train for my first marathon. One year later, because of a lot of reasons that I'm still sad about, we had to move home to North Carolina. In the midst of that, it meant that I needed to be licensed in North Carolina for pharmacy so I started studying, while training for marathons, and running a SUPER busy business at the time. I literally had no time for anyone. I moved home to family but didn't hardly see family.

After I got past this stage, I decided to train for an ironman, and we all know the capacity at which this takes you away from everything. I entered into a stage where I told friends and family that I was sorry but I had to just put my head down and focus for this 6 month period and then I'd come out of the fog. I know what they all were thinking. "What will be next? She won't just rest."

I literally cannot remember a time for the past decade that I haven't had some stressful looming goal ahead and something that I had to focus on, sacrifice for, and turn away nights with friends to be able to do it. I haven't known what it's like to have free time at night. So here I am, one week in, and it just feels....weird.

I have post race blues, but not to the point that it makes me want to do another race. I have come to recognize that I have equated stress with success and when I know that deep down, I know that it's VERY important to stick to my guns to really prayfully get out of that. There is no reason that I need to be stressed in order to be successful in life, but I also have to figure out what that looks like. In our world, stress is almost this badge of honor that we get to wear subconsciously that we are "getting it done!". It's almost as if you're lazy if you aren't stressed. I have worked REALLY hard for a REALLY long time and it's okay that I have time to watch Netflix maybe even twice weekly now. That doesn't mean that I need to jump back into something else.

When training for the ironman, I had to back out of a lot of responsibilities for sheer time purposes and not being able to commit the way that was needed, and now that I don't have those things, I will say it proudly, I'm not stressed and I have a lot of time on my hands. Yes, I could pour more into my business, but I work hard 8 hours or more per day. Yes, I could jump into volunteer opportunities but I've learned that right now, in this season, this is my best yes. My best yes is to rest even as weird as it feels.

When achieving all of these goals, I always had the primary but I'm someone who has a really hard time being all in for just one thing. I'm interested in like 10,000 things. I love blogging and medicine and endurance and living a healthy life, but those were just the primaries. I also really love to read (I always won the awards for most AR points in elementary school lol), I love home decor, I love fashion (even if I'm too cheap to really make it work), I want to learn how to do my make up, I love to cook, I want to be able to shower and look decent most days, and I really love close knit friendships where I can pour into other people.

I'm thankful to all of the people that have put up with me for the past decade as I began this ridiculously, always stressful, always busy pursuit to MY goals. I hope to pour back into them during this season and spoil them because I couldn't have got here without them. I hope to really allow them the space and capacity to accomplish their goals as I take a backseat (i.e. my husband). I've realized my lack of humility in my pursuit to goals (not that pursuit of goals means lack of humility but just did some self reflection and found that in my own life). I've realized that in saying that I need to be stressed to be successful is saying that I have to be successful to be happy, and that's just not true. I've realized that I've created myself a space to think more and be more intentional, and that's a beautiful thing. I'm not sure what season that you're in, but I hope that your season of pursuit is not a decade long, and that you have some seasons of rest sprinkled in there for good measure.

I hope you'll find me inspiring in my season of being inspirational through non inspiration. LOL! I'm hoping to share more of this season as I go along because I'm sure it will present itself in many ways, and I'm sure I'll exit this season, but right now I don't know when that will be or what that will look like, so I'm just going to rest in what it is right now. 

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