Marriage Retreat & Asking the Awkward Questions

When we were asked to go on the marriage retreat, for some weird reason, I was hesitant because I had two other trips that month so it was going to be three weeks back to back. I know that with training that can get tricky. However, my friends at church started talking about it and I was like "Uh I wouldn't miss this for the world" and I'm sure glad I didn't. 

The hotel was at Lake Lure Inn which is a beautiful lake in the NC mountains if you aren't familiar that's only an hour from Shelby (which I didn't realize-going to be making other trips ;)). It was a really old hotel and we had 21 couples that essentially took up the entire place. I heard a young couple coming down the stairs on Saturday night say "There's this church here taking up the whole place because they have so many da** people!" hahaha! It wasn't THAT many, but it was a small(er) hotel I guess. 

Friday, we stopped with 2 other couples at a restaurant before we got to the first session at 8pm. The way that a marriage retreat or any retreat goes for that matter is that typically you will have a speaker and they just get real with you. It's not meant to be a sermon. The theme of the weekend was "How to Love well" which #DUH #marriageretreat! :) The speakers were an absolute joy...really. They have been married for going on 20 years, and I just LOVE hearing about faith based marriage and they are still very much in love. It's a beautiful thing to see and be mentored by. 

At the end of each session, they would provide questions for us to talk through (and pray over) with our spouse. This is where half of the title comes from, because I'm officially a huge fan of that. The only time that you are ever going to do that is in a setting like this. I'm not going to write up some questions for Tanner and I to go over, and if I did he would be like "love ya babe, but I have to go brush my teeth" because most likely he would find that activity more productive! It is so transformative. I'm not even lying. You get down in the dirty with your spouse or if it's at your small group or even just with a group of friends, and you talk about the things that you wouldn't EVER talk about. What are my fears? How does that affect our relationship? Do I represent and respect you well in public? How can I change that? 

See, not too many right? ;) 

See, not too many right? ;) 

It is just an open line of communication for things that might not have even surfaced that you can work through. The same goes in other settings that might just be within your own thoughts of things that you might not have realized are there, but you need to work through. I was able to see SO MUCH about myself in just talking to Tanner about it, but also really walk through the steps on how I can do better. (Specifically always fear of failure-are you shocked?-probably not). 

It's cool because typically you only would start asking these questions in marriage unless you went to like counseling or something because your marriage wasn't doing so great. It's really neat to be able to do them even when your marriage is good so that hopefully before the red flags of anger are even drawn, and the bitterness is not even there, you can work through things that might come up in the future. Tanner and I realize how lucky we are with our marriage. We fight very little, and are just super chill about certain stuff. We also agree on almost ALLL life things, so that produces very little arguing but we have been together for only 5 years. We haven't walked through the absolute DIRT together of maybe one of our parents passing away when we are older and some who have lost children or those fathers who have to work all the time to be able to provide. Life can be REALLY REALLY tough sometimes, and it's so good to hear these couples talk about how they worked through these times so that we can be prepared to know how to do that. 

At the retreat we had 3 of these sessions and I loved working through the questions with Tanner. On Saturday, we had a breakfast buffet provided for us, and lunch and dinner we were on our own.

{{Just to throw a little bit of health in for the readers at home...as you can imagine... I really don't think nutrition is something that needs to be concerned with. I eat well if I can. I stop when I'm full. Listennnnn to yooooo body. Just because you go on a trip doesn't mean you have to eat everything in sight but it also doesn't mean that you have to stick to your nutritional plan either because that's cray cray. I also typically will take Saturday as my rest day and do my longer run/ride when I return from trips on Sundays. I literally don't even think about health and fitness when I leave for weekends like this, and I planned on vlogging but my mind is so far from thinking about that, that I just don't. ha.}} 

Saturday, we also had a picture scavenger hunt. IT WAS SO FUN!! We paired up with couples, but ours didn't win. BOOO! ;) Saturday night was filled with fun and so much laughter with all of these people whom I have grown to love dearly. I felt this way about my NYC community as well, so maybe I just love people, but I really really do think that both my church in NYC and my church here are so very special.

The people at BRCC (Broad River Community Church) in Shelby...I just can't explain. They are just SUCH genuine people! I hear them talk and I'm just like....wow. It makes me want to model my life after some of the older ones just seeing how much of a servant heart they have, and how they genuinely pursue Christ in every day life. It's really inspiring. Our entire staff is volunteer so you'd think our services wouldn't have the most qualified worship leader and pastor. I'm telling you how amazing they are, because they could EASILYYYYYY go to another church and make A LOT more money!!! 100%..no doubt in mind. Our pastor is incredible...such a theologian who has spent so many years of his life speaking all over and seeking genuine truth in the bible always, and our worship leader could literally be on broadway. It just doesn't matter to them. They seek Jesus. That's it. They don't care about the money. I LOVE IT SO MUCH! 

Coming back this week leaves me feeling refreshed and renewed and honestly just at peace. I tend to get really stressed out throughout the weeks, and this just felt so good. I will be updating you guys soon as well on my decision to work in high school ministry, but for now, I'll keep it suspenseful. My mom reads my blog so she saw that in one of the posts and was like "I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO DO THAT!!" and I was like "How in the world did you know?" and she said "It's just been a part of your life for so long that when you mentioned ministry, I knew that had to be the one." So, there's that. Momma's always know best ;) #Sometimes #Don'tGetArrogantMOMfitscript #JKILOVEYOU !! 





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