Oh boy - what a topic - I mean clearly I was being super original when I decided to write on this so I hope that you'll join me today as I unleash new information on a topic never written about.
But really, it's like beating a dead horse. Love yourself. We all know this.
But do we really? I think that we honestly have become so immune to what we are reading on the internet that we aren't present in what we are reading. Like, genuinely, when you go to bed at night, are you confident in who you are? When someone says something about you, do you find shreds of truth in it that make you uncomfortable or do you nod your head in agreeance that confidently "Yes, that's who I am."
Do you always feel that there is something that you need to change (physically, mentally, spiritually) and is that out of love or out of hate? The world has made us believe that if we work on ourselves then we hate ourselves. There is this notion that if I have to be completely complacent with everything in my life or I'm self loathing, and I think that couldn't be further from the truth.
I think in the advent of self love, we are really not in reality showing ourselves love. Are we taking care of our bodies, minds, and souls? Are we making sure to get some form of exercise in at least 30 minutes 4-5X per week? Are we eating well to nourish our bodies? Are we meditating? Are we spending time with friends and loved ones? Are we doing well in school? Are we saving money?
If someone was to look at you and say "I love you", they would want the best for you. They would want you to prosper in every way. They would want you to have stability in finances and life. They would never just look at you with a blank stare and say "because I love you, you can just chill." However, that's the way that we have made it out to be.
We judge those that actually are practicing self love by saying "Oh girl, you don't need to do that. You're just fine JUST the way that you are." We tell our friends that they can save money later, and that we are too young to worry about those things. We say YOLO, and while I believe that's the truth, I think that we need to take responsibilities on how we can live a full life, just this one time. We only get this shot once, so we need to do it right.
We need to find the balance. We need to have a healthy dose of fun, but we also need to learn to work. I spoke about this last week, but we have become entitled that we don't need to work for what we want. Heck to the no. Working hard builds character. Doing things that you don't want to do makes you a better friend, mother, teacher, wife. We need to honor our desires as well. We need to have that piece of cake without being in fear of what it might do to our body if in that moment we want cake. If we don't actually want cake, then we should be able to say no without the judgement of "OMG JUST EAT THE CAKE!"
There are few women that I know that carry this confidence, and I'm drawn to them like nobody's business. I want to soak that junk up like a sponge. Think about the confident women that you know. Doesn't it just make you smile? I won't embarrass them by mentioning names, but I can think of 3 women in my life. It has nothing to do with the way that they look. It has to do with the way that they carry themselves.
There are unwritten rules in this world of who you have to be and we are at the forefront of all of that coming to a head in our society. The truth is that this is not Utopia, and try as we might, it's just not going to happen and that's okay. You need to recognize that you are very different than the person next to you, AND THAT'S OKAY. Boy, has that taken me a long time to work through and not just on a physical level. The views that my family have about a lot of things are not like mine, but that doesn't mean that it matters for our relationship. That doesn't mean that they love me any less or that I love them any less. We have to relax in who we are and just be that person.
What are goals that you have for yourself? Why don't you honor yourself by working towards those goals? Do you want to lose weight? THAT'S OKAY GIRL. YOU DO YOU. That's loving yourself by doing what is going to make you happy. Are you obsessed with losing weight and putting yourself down every single day about it? Well, that's a different story. You need to hop right out of that.
As I mentioned before, you have to be present. These emotions aren't going to just come. You have to practice them. You have to write them down. You have to have a plan of action. You will look back in 6 months and love yourself even more for having the confidence and the perseverance to have a goal and to stick with that goal.
I didn't work hard in pharmacy school because I hated myself. I didn't work hard in soccer growing up because I hated myself. I didn't work hard on my marriage because I hated it. No. Just no. You can work on something and love it at the same time. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. If you want to travel, travel to that place people are saying it's silly to travel to. MOVE to that place they told you that you shouldn't. Get that tattoo. Get that piercing. There is only one person that lives inside of your brain and that is you and you have to take care of her so that in turn you can abundantly bless those around you. You can't be fully you for them until you fully get out of your head. Self love is not vain. Self love is actually less selfish because we all know that self hate leads to constant thoughts about oneself. By removing that piece, you are able to fully and completely be you spreading joy around like skittles.