You know how they say that you can't have a perfect life? I have realized, at least for this week, I think that's false. haha! That's not to say that my life is perfect or that I'm aiming for some picture perfect life, but I think that no matter your situation and no matter where you're at, your life can be perfect, in this very moment. I have been doing so much reading and research on the neural connections that we make since we are children and the surrendering of our internal thoughts to look at the positive side of life.
I don't want this blog to seem like one of those annoyingly fake social media posts. I fully recognize the reality that is life, and that things suck sometimes and that we can't always be a positive patty but I have truly realized the value of not letting stuff get to you. It's an amazing, liberating feeling, and so I like to share those processes with you guys and books to read to help you get there.
- The Power of Now
- The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness
- The Four Agreements
- Untethered Soul
- The Book of Joy
- Pebbles of Perception
These are all just the books that I have personally read, and yes, I know that it's hard to read this many books but just add them to your list and slowly work through them. The one thing that I've realized is that when you find books that you truly enjoy, then you will read them faster than you ever thought you could. And I believe this topic to be so useful.
This isn't just something that I'm making up but it's a process of
1) recognizing that you have a subconscious mind and that your personal thoughts might not be those of your subconscious brain
2) separating from those thoughts and pulling away from them (ESPECIALLY if they are negative)
3) recognizing that we create neural connections and connections through action potentials during our life, but just like bad habits, we can break through because our neurons have neural plasticity
One good example of this is when a child sees a dog when they are little and it is vicious or even bites them. They will create a neuron firing that means "dog equals scary and dangerous" therefore they will be really scared of dogs from that point forward even if that's irrational. It will take breaking this neuron firing as they age to break it, but it CAN be done and is done by many.
The dog example can apply to so many and especially in the health and fitness sphere as everyone teeters in their own element of obsession! ;) I'm well aware of my addictive personality and so I try my best to channel that into good things to be obsessive about - family, marriage, faith, work, running - but inevitably there are the sneaky and prevalent bad habits that come into my life. My husband sometimes is like DANG GIRL! You gotta stay vigilant or junk can become a problem QUICK. It's ridiculous and my brother is the same way and so is my dad. It's learned behavior most likely.
But regardless of habits that can be broken by changing those neurons firing, this can also be practiced with an attitude of gratitude in everything that I do instead of looking for the negative. I had fallen into a spell of looking for the bad, not purposefully but it just happened. I got cynical real fast, hated humans (not really but ya know), wanted no social interaction, etc etc. LOL! I realized that I do love being an introvert, but I also realized this was just a product of my negativity and looking for the bad and not the good.
We have a choice every day. We can either be happy or we can't. This is non-conditional. There are no "but if this happens during my day then I'm annoyed or mad." It is a decision that you make, and it is done. Now granted, this takes practice and it takes time, but just to give you a few examples in my life that I could have seen as negative:
- I said that I was coming back to blogging and youtube and at that same exact time, my life and full time job got EXTREMELY busy and then I genuinely couldn't unless I just didn't want to sleep or see my husband which neither was going to happen lol --- but flipped -- how WONDERFUL that my full time job is busy now, I absolutely LOVE what I'm getting to do and I love pouring myself more and more into the job and the community of Shelby-it literally makes me so happy
- My Chicago training literally fell apart --- uhhhh I got to be with Bethany to the finish - that's all I need
- We went to Bristol this weekend and got stuck in traffic for 2 hours - my husband was having a full on angry session - I lectured him on staying positive which I'm sure annoyed him more (lol) and then I turned on Taylor Swift and had a dance party and within a few minutes, we were having a party in stand still traffic instead of sulking
- I thought I was going to be late for the health fair this morning due to other things I was having to complete and normally would have been freaking out but I thought "I'm very dedicated to this job and have prepared - if I'm a few minutes late, the party will go forward" - I wasn't late. I was perfectly fine. The drama in my mind was saved
- I hit the front end of my 2014 Jeep Grand Cherokee and will need a new expensive chrome front bumper - normally I would FREAK.OUT. I mean freakkkkk out. I literally laughed as if it was almost a test and just got back in my car, didn't get it fixed, and I'm cruising thru my happy life with a little dent and will fix it if I feel like it one day and it's all just paper anyway
This was NOT easy for me to start doing. I'm a worrier, and it's a process in the beginning. The first step is starting to recognize your thoughts that are NOT you. Listen for them tomorrow. The chatter that your brain does. That's not truly you. That's your anxiety. We all have it. I feel I need a name for mine. It just carries on without me all day long. But when you separate from this and relax into the background, you truly reach a new level of happiness.
I think I've bored you with it enough for now but I hope you'll start to recognize yours and work towards flipping those subconscious thoughts to a attitude of gratitude for all the beautiful moments of life that are RIGHT in front of you and if you live truly IN that moment, it's never as bad as you think it is. :) It's actually quite a great moment if you let it. So, while I know that perfection doesn't exist, I feel as if I'm living my perfect life in all this happiness! :)