In two weeks, six years ago, I went to dinner with my boyfriend in New York City ( this is where I did my summer internship during pharmacy school), and who would have known but the boy got down on his knee that night and asked me to marry him. This was a boy that I had only known period that he existed for 7 months, and only dated for 5 months and we laugh about how we totally thought we had it allllll figured out at age 21/22 when we got engaged. LOLOLOLLLLLLL #youngandinloveandclueless
We started down the path towards that wedding crossing off the X's and O's that we all do, that we really don't HAVE to do, but we do anyway. We include things we don't always want, and we take unsolicited advice from strangers. Over and over and over again I heard how hard marriage is. I heard how much marriage sucks. I heard "Do you really want to do this?" as they smirk and laugh. Hehehe. "Men suck. It's not worth it." Y'all, I'm not kidding or making this up. I couldn't believe how negative people were, so I blissfully continued my engagement into my wedding day.
The comments flooded in EVEN at my reception. Of course, there were those that told me congrats, but I would almost venture to say NO ONE told me "Marriage is awesome! You are going to love it." Think about someone saying that phrase to you. It's almost awkward. They told us congrats of course, and all that fun stuff.
So, this blog is not one to say that I want to tell you how to do it. I actually have realized that I think I got really lucky with my husband, and there's no tips for that. I can't tell you to "wait out for that perfect one" because let's be real, I was 21 and didn't exactly wait.
I can tell you however that we were both completely different humans then. Both of us, and we have grown together and not apart. I can tell you that it's possible to grow together without fighting as well. I can tell you that marriage is the most beautiful union that God has ever created. And I tell you that because I feel those are the things that people don't say.
Five couples that I know got married yesterday. Praise be to God. How wonderful. I'm not saying everyone needs to get married, and I'm not saying that it's going to be perfect because we all know that it won't be, but I am saying that through Christ, there is hope in marriage, there is redemption in marriage, and there is growth in marriage. And it doesn't HAVE to be awful or hard (that's not to say that it's not though of course).
It's possible to not bicker all the time. It's possible to truly adore and love the other person even six years later even when you hang out all the time. Maybe that's not long enough to have a say but I think it holds at least a little value.
You get to travel with your best friend, hang out with them every day. You get to laugh together, and cry together. You get to be an absolute BASKET CASE and somehow that person still wipes your tears and tells you that you're beautiful. You get a #1 fan. You get to have slumber parties every night, and Netflix with your dogs on the couch at the end of a Sunday. You get hugs at the end of marathons, and you get someone to cry with you when family members pass. You get to be independent but also completely as one.
I know that we know that it's not always a beautiful union, and that truly makes me so sad. I just don't want to set couples up from the very start of their beautiful life together that they shouldn't be afraid. They shouldn't be ready and on guard for this awful thing that people make marriage out to be.
If you are married and your marriage is NOT wonderful because THAT is a VERY REAL reality that is also perfectly normal to fall into, I truly pray that your relationship is restored in a beautiful way.
There are "those" relationships that aren't some Nicholas Sparks movie, but they do truly love one another, and YOU are worth finding someone that completes you in that way.