Today's post is one that I've went back and forth on for quite some time, but I feel as if we all reach that point where we reach a crossroads and we decide which way we want to go.
The way that I have decided to go is for this to be my last post on my past. Now let me explain why.
I always felt that my past was what would fuel my purpose and my passion. The Lord has shown me otherwise. The Lord has led me in some amazing directions in the past year, and for that I am forever grateful. I have completely changed my life for the better in every aspect, however I feel like I am being tied down to a string that no one will let me live down.
It's as if an alcoholic walks into the bar and orders a drink. Literally, all eyes on him. That's how I'm made to feel.
I do not count macros because I am restricting. I can almost GUARANTEE I eat more than most people reading this blog post on a daily basis. I do NOT count macros because I want to control my intake. I count macros because I want to better my future for me and my children. I want to increase my metabolism so high that I can remain healthy, vibrant, and active and not even think about it. I want to eat hot dogs with the kids at a ballgame. I want to have pizza and grilled cheese nights. Because of my past, my body didn't allow me to do that without feeling absolutely miserable so it's a slow process to come out of that.
This is such a touchy subject and one that someone will most likely comment and bash me because that's what people love to do when they don't know my life or anything to do with me, but I'll tell you this.
I am healed. 100%. So many people say it's not possible but see the thing is, my God is bigger than your doubts. My God is bigger than your wordly views. I do not think about my body image ( literally EVER). I simply eat to train. I am passionate and I live to train.
I have been an athlete literally since I was 5 years old when I started playing soccer. I have played on high level competitive teams my entire life, I was a competitive cheerleader and I cheered in college. This led me into the adult life of wanting to continue being an AFL (athlete for life). I want to be a marathon runner, boston qualifier, triathlete, ironman athlete, sponsored runner, featured blogger, and a well known fitness professional. I do NOT want to be the girl that used to have an eating disorder.
I simply feel I've reached my crossroads. I will ALWAYS be sympathetic. I will ALWAYS be the one that will understand your heart and soul and how deeply this issues can take root. I just simply feel it's time that I moved to a new era, one that I leave this one behind.
Thank you for following me over the years as I grow, mature, and develop. Thank you for simply letting me share my passions with you. I am forever grateful.
With love and letting go,