If you know my mom, she goes by Mama Mia.
My brother just recently had a baby and so now she goes by Grandmama Mia. How cute right?
Anywho, the point of this blog is not just about her but about the world that she lives from my point of view. She has a blog called Mama Mia Cares which she simply uses as an outlet for hoping to share positives and negatives of being an around the clock care taker of her husband and my step dad (and also her mom but I won’t be gracing the surface of that).
If you know us, you know the back story but for those that don’t, Dick had a horrific wreck on a motorcycle 14 years ago. It was a year after they were married, and it forever changed things. I wanted to tell the story of that day from my perspective and the years that have followed, and the commitment to Christ, the dedication and unconditional love that my mom has shown for her husband in the face of pure adversity and the story of two love birds who know the definition of thick and thin. I’m sorry if I miss details. I was young and it blurs together…
It’s so bizarre to think of the normal day to day that we lived having no idea of what was about to hit our lives that day…
He had to be at church so he was rushing out of the door. If you know him, you know he procrastinates until the last minute to get ready. I was in my room and remember thinking that I wanted to ride with him on the motorcycle to church. I hear him in the driveway and I run out to catch him to tell him I want to ride. He is already leaving and my mom tells me that he is in a really big rush or he would have come back to get me. Thank GOD he didn’t. I don’t think I would be writing this blog if so.
The wreck happened only minutes later. It was about a mile from our home. He was coming around the curve, and the car that was supposed to stop at the stop sign did not. Dick tried to stop in time, but everyone was going too fast, and he did not have enough time. They collided into one another and this catapulted him 50 feet I believe. (Let us pause and think about Dick Poston. He’s not a little man. That was some serious force to fly him that far). He was knocked unconscious. He remembers seeing cars pass and no one stopped. Then finally, someone stopped. He was able to tell this man to get in touch with my mom. I, of course, remember the next part vividly.
My mom is cooking in the kitchen with things on every burner. The phone rings. My mom picks up. She becomes so frantic. She says “I’m coming right now” and she starts crying and was frantic(Side Note: She wasn’t screaming or letting me in on too much. As usual, she was protecting me and didn’t want me to be scared). We leave immediately with food on the stove.
The next moments were such a blur. I remember parking on the side of the road and seeing his body lying on the ground. I start balling. Mom starts running. EMS had arrived. His elbow was dislocated so when they moved him, he screamed in pain. However, the worst part to see was his leg. It was completely mangled and his ankle was “crushed”. I remember it looks like there was literally no bones. His ankle looked like a towel that you are wringing wet, almost coiled. His back was broken but they did not catch this until 2 years later when it had already healed on it’s own because when they did X-rays, he was so bruised it was hard to see much of anything. I think sometimes our memories fade because they are so bad, but the memory stops there. I don’t remember him getting in the ambulance. I just remember I was on TV holding his shoes and I thought that was cool because he was on the news.
I don’t think my mom realized that 14 years later, she would be writing a blog about an extension off of the horror from that day. She dressed his wounds in weeks to follow. After he left the hospital, he actually had to have nursing care come into the home and a hospital bed that was put into our living room. But we thanked God because he was alive. He would never ride a motorcycle again. He was a professional bowler and he would never bowl again. He went to bike week every year at the beach and now it’s hard for him to even talk about it because he gets too emotional.
To top it all off, the BOY that hit him did not have insurance. He claimed that the brakes on his vehicle did not work. He was 17 years old, didn’t have a license, and didn’t have insurance of course. He skipped court multiple times and sueing him wasn’t an option because he had no money. There have been many times in frustration that Dick Poston has wanted to leave the house and find the man that did this to him, but of course Mama Mia always stopped that :)
Is it awful to say that I can’t remember my step dad without a limp or a cane? I can’t remember a time that he didn’t have back pain. I can’t remember a time that he didn’t have a mangled looking ankle that they pieced back together. The amount of medical issues that this has caused him since that day are astronomical and if you didn’t live it everyday, you wouldn’t believe it. He had a pulmonary embolism that moved from his legs and burst in his lungs which he was brought to the hospital within hours of most likely not making it. He also went hunting one time and had pneumonia and didn’t know it, so he passed out in the tree stand, falling he hit the tree on the way down and broke 10 of his ribs. All of these medical issues were an extension off this wreck…
Still yet, they stay positive. They go into a spinal cord stimulation trial 14 years later praying for hope that God grant them some peaceful days. My mom will text me sometimes and say “Is it okay if I just vent for a second? I’ve cried all day and just need someone.” Boy, does she break my heart with those texts. My heart feels for her so much. I want to take his pain away for HER. She’s become so accustomed to doing things always for everyone else that she then feels guilty if she does something for herself and always says she’s sorry. WHY ARE YOU SORRY WOMAN?
The most miraculous thing is their love. Like honestly, I 100% do not know how this has not beat them down. Nope. He tells her she is beautiful seriously every day. He loves her so much it’s disgusting. Like truly, it’s disgusting and sometimes I’m like “Dear lord, please hush”. She could look like a hot mess and he’s like “Ohhh I love the way you did your hair baby” hahaha!
Everyone said their puppy love would fade. Everyone joked that they would not be mushy forever. They still are. I can only dream that my love for Tanner is as unfailing and unconditional as theirs because the times that most women would have given up on their husbands, she didn’t and when all others would have lost the faith, she never has. She does occasionally kick him under the table though when he’s telling a story that he’s told 15 times already to which I do not blame her because sometimes I try to kick him myself ;)
We all have our issues and hardships. They almost make it seem as if they don’t though sometimes because they still live life with such joy. I guess that’s why I thought I would share what it truly looks like from the outside knowing all the insider details.
With love and family,