Fit can be a Lonely Place

Ever go through something to see the other side, and think "Man, that was tough?" I honestly would probably never write about something in the midst of a struggle because it's just much harder to do that but after, I'm pretty candid. I've learned that if I have a struggle then that means almost always that someone else has had this struggle and that if it's talked about and brought to the light then it can make someone else feel better. 

After spending the weekend with some fit girls, it became apparent...sometimes being a fit girl can feel very.....very lonely. From the world of instagram and pictures, it looks all glamorous. No matter what though, in real life, discipline almost always is going to look like obsession to those on the outside. They aren't going to understand what you are doing, and they are going to question your motives. They are not going to see that it's your passion, and they are going to label you as having a problem. They don't see it as something that you love to do but something you are forcing and restricting yourself to do. It can be very hard and leave you feeling like your efforts are in vain, and maybe you should just give it all up.

Explaining the fitness life to those that aren't into it is like beating your head against the wall. It's just impossible to explain, and it always will be. Health and fitness is all grouped together with the "weight loss" industry when they really are separate entities. The weight loss industry is something that people really and truly.... hate. Losing weight is normally something people do for a certain time period than they drop it because they find it so miserable. So, the way that they envision your life is a constant misery. 

It doesn't matter that I eat over 2000 calories per day. I will always be told that 'I eat like a bird" because I choose not to eat the nasty food that may be offered in those moments, and eat like a horse later in whole, nutritious foods that are good for my body. It doesn't matter that the macros that I count allow me to literally eat whatever I want whenever I want and still stay on track to my goals, but yet because I track something {very loosely} on my phone, I'm obsessive. Athleticism and proper nutrition are foreign terms in the adult world, and all people really hear is "restriction, starvation, miserable" just because maybe they haven't experience the way that eating healthy can make you feel. I don't ever say a word. I just simply smile and don't bother really trying to explain it because many times, I know they aren't really hearing me. 

Then, you are told that those people are "just jealous." Maybe that's true, but that's never what it feels like. It doesn't feel like jealousy. It just hurts.... a lot. I have never had the thought ever in my life "Oh that girl is clearly just jealous of me." I'm just not that confident/arrogant I suppose.  However, I do love my body. And not because my body is perfect or flawless....but because I know that I take care of myself and I have had many hard lessons in this matter. I feel I'm part of the 5% of the female population that literally never ever looks in the mirror and thinks "Oh I wish I could change that." I just don't torture myself with the what ifs? I simply eat well, workout hard, and whatever happens in this little shell of mine is what it's going to be. 

It has gotten worlds better where everyone knows the lifestyle that I live, and honestly everyone in my immediate family is now doing it which makes my life so great! Haha! However, while I continue this lifestyle, I have come to realize, I will always be picked on, I will always be singled out, and I will always be put down because of my choices. People don't even realize the things that they say, and how condescending they are but it happens almost on a daily basis, and I know I'm not alone. My food will always be nasty (even if it tastes good), I will always appear "obsessed" (even though I'm probably about as chill as they come on this stuff), and I will always be told I don't need to workout any more (even though I'm an athlete that trains for events).  

And lastly, God forbid you post a picture of your hobby. If you like music, don't post your guitar. If you like soccer, don't post on social media about your game. If you like interior design, don't show me your new pillows. That's obsessive and arrogant and vain of you. If your hobby is fitness, then your non fitness friends will not understand you posting about it. They just simply never will. There is a difference in being completely annoying on social media, and we all know that line and that's not what I mean. It really is a well known fact that "no one wants to know about the workouts that you did" and I'm over here like ... " well I don't want to see your dog then" (but I really do want to see your dog and your workouts haha). I honestly never EVER bring up my passion (except on social media). If someone asks me questions, I'm an open book but I go out every time everyone goes out. I do everything that everyone does and never force my beliefs on anyone, ever. So, when I'm put down because of it, it's very hurtful and leaves me feeling alone.

I do want to also address that there is a fine line. If you are carrying all of your food in tupperware refusing all meals with friends, refusing all social events because you have to work out or are scared of food...OBVIOUSLY this is a problem. I'm not talking about people with a problem. I'm talking about people dedicated and passionate to the fit life who still go out for drinks, still go out to dinner very frequently with friends, but also still want to be healthy 90% of the time and get their training in.

There's no real answer to this other than that your true friends will always, always stick around and the others ... well they won't and that's okay. You pray about what you're doing, and if you know that you are righteous and true in your pursuits then you keep doing you, you keep pursuing your dreams and your passions and your goals that you have outlined for yourself. Just know that as alone as you feel (because I know I'm very lucky even to have a fit husband), you are not alone and there are many of us fitties out here feeling your exact same feelings. I know many times I questioned giving it all up. I mean completely. There was a time I almost deleted every account, started eating pizza every day, and just stop working out to stop conflict in friendships {{true story}}. I'm so grateful I didn't do that. Be who you are, and don't be ashamed. And know that I know the pain, and I sound tough in this blog, but let me tell you I've been brought to tears many....many times over this issue. 

With love and fit struggles,


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