It's officially been almost one whole month since we moved home. Wow. Time stinkin flies. I wondered how this would go. I thought I would have PTSD. I thought I would seriously grieve.
I will admit something-I stay too busy to even think about those things, which is somewhat ridiculous but just being truthful. However, Tanner and I just keep saying like "Wow, we really did that." It almost seems surreal now. Like, we actually lived in New York City for a year. Did we seriously go to the grocery store every week and walk back with the groceries? HA! Did we seriously walk EVERYWHERE and almost a mile to the subway every day? Did we get to spend a year with some of the best people ever, and did we get some of the most memorable moments of our life? So weird now.
Every person that we meet, we have to explain how "Yes, we just moved home from New York City" and it never fails with the big country accent "OH MY GOSH NEW YORK! YUCK! Thank The Good Lord you came home from that awful place" to which I want to give them a swift kick in the shin bones. I have so much pride and love for that place, and no I didn't leave because it's just so awful. It's wonderful...in so so many ways and is home to some of my most favorite people in the entire universe.
Does life feel as glamorous? Well no, and yes. With the job that I had, I'm pretty housed up. I work from home, and I stay really busy contrary to what a lot of people think. I have to be honest, and say that it's so nice to be able to just walk outside for a few minutes for fresh air. In order to do that in NYC, it was a 20 minute ordeal of having to take the elevator downstairs then back up again, and there was never anywhere to do anything outside other than a coffee shop that I had to walk a mile to. On the every day, NC feels like a vacation. I feel relaxed and at peace, and I really really needed that. Sometimes I felt the fast paced NYC was going to give me a heart attack at the age of 25, and I know I'm just an anxious person. That's nothing on NYC, but it just wore on me sometimes.
However, in the quiet moments sometimes, I miss the hustle. I miss just walking around and knowing that I hardly exist to anyone but I'm like in this bubble and I don't know how to explain it but it makes you come alive. Something about walking around that city made my heart want to explode in joy sometimes. Everyone gets it if they live there. You watch Sex in the City and are like "I LOVE NEW YORK CITY" then it rains and you're like "I hate my life. I want to leave." HAHA!
I miss my church family, and my friends.... a lot. I got spoiled seeing them everyday, and I seriously loved them all so much. I wish I could just transport them here. :) I feel SO close to my nephew though, and it makes me so so happy. He pretty much smiles at everyone, but I get to see him smile at me and recognize me. I was so scared of coming home, and having to explain to him who Aunt Katie was and where she lives, but now I don't have to do that. I get to see my best friends here. Oh, how I've missed them and dinners with old friends makes me so happy and feel so at home.
It feels so cool to be known here, and I don't mean from social media but just because I'm from here. Some people hate Shelby for that reason. They hate for everyone to be in their business, but I guess I don't have anything to hide right now. Maybe if all my secrets get out, I'll hate a small town. ;) hahaha! Every single solitary place that I go, I see someone I know and it's fun. But the new fun has been, now when I walk into almost every place I hear, "Oh my gosh are you Katie?" which is HILARIOUS! Yep! Dats meeeee! And they actually care, which is just really cool and fun and all that stuff!
Now, as for my husband, it was the best decision we could have made. In the last month that we were there, he got really close to some guys in NYC and it was really sad to leave them. However, with the job change and the lifestyle change, I have finally seen my husband be who he is. He has went back up to Bristol to get all of his fishing, hunting, camping, hiking, and any and all outdoor things. He has had more dinners with me and cooked with me more times than I can count already, and it makes every moment of moving worth it. I'm so thankful for the men that were placed in his life in NYC, but I am oh so grateful for the man that he is now that he's here and where he wants to be. I don't think people in Shelby know it, but he's actually a very country boy. I think that because we lived in NYC, they think Tanner was like from there or something and many people have asked how he's adjusting to the south. HAHA! He's from East Tennessee peoples! He sacrificed and loved me enough to go to NYC for my crazy butt! ;)
Lastly, we have found a home. We have found the place that we will raise our children, and the place that they will run around. It's so amazing. I can't wait to show it off. I would have still been renting in NYC, and it just feels so adult to finally no longer rent and to finally buy a home with my husband so we can settle and have a baby!
I miss the glamorous nightlife and Sunday brunches. I miss the people. I miss the sights. I miss the smells (the good ones). I miss Battery Park. I miss running on the Hudson. I miss Apostles (my church). I miss cute coffee shops. I miss Trader Joes and Whole Foods. I miss the hustle.
But, I've gained so much. Change is inevitable. Change grows us and teaches us things. I'm so happy and blessed with change.
With love and big moves,