Let's talk rejection shall we?

Rejection sucks. Point blank. I'm not just talking dating life here. I just mean in general. I have no idea why I picked this topic today other than my marriage retreat this weekend had me thinking on my life up until where I'm at now with my husband, and how a lot of it dealt with rejection, and still very much do. 

Rejection feels like a knife straight to your heart. It rattles you, questioning yourself, your self worth, your identity and if you should change. It leaves you feeling insecure, and not liking your brain, or your beauty or your personality. It makes you want to change who you are in order to be accepted in whatever or whomever it is that you have been rejected.

I'm at this pretty sweet spot in life currently where I'm just waiting for the volcano to erupt. Like every day, afraid that I'm going to turn the corner and things are going to start heading south. I'm kidding...kinda. 

But did I tell you about that one time in middle school when I had really bad warts all over my hands, knees, and elbows and a boy that I liked told me he would never date me because I looked like a frog? Do I recall in middle school when my best friend at the time was absolutely gorgeous and while I had warts and teeth so bad that I had to wear braces for 7 years, we would go to church camp and they would ask me for her number? I literally get emotional thinking about a sweet girl who might be going through that right now, and what that felt like. Years and years of insecurities just brewing up. 

Did I tell you about how not only was the best friend beautiful but she was also the life of the party and intelligent? She sang better than me for choir, and even though she was my #1, I was her "if it's convenient" friend. I never had a best friend growing up. If you know Brandy Whitley, we met in pharmacy school and that's the first time I ever had a best friend (at the age of 21). I was ALWAYS third wheel included enough to where they felt they were doing nothing wrong, but not enough to where I felt I had any worth or place whatsoever.

Did I tell you about the time in high school when I dated a boy for 2 years who cheated on me and how I remember figuring out and felt like my chest might explode? I think of high schoolers and how they don't even know what life looks like yet, but yet that raw emotion was SO VERY REAL. {{We are friends now-it's cool LOL}}

Did I tell you about the time that I worked from 6th grade to 12th studying every single solitary night, participating in soccer (school and travel), competitive cheerleading, and swim team, leadership in clubs in pursuit of getting accepted into UNC Chapel Hill. I'll never forget the moment I opened the email in my room, and falling to the floor when I read the words "Deferred". REJECT is all I read. In those moments, it felt hard to breathe. That was my EVERYTHING at the time. My life dream-right out of the window-going to school the next day to all of the ones that DID get in. 

Or maybe that time that I devoted my entire life and world to getting into pharmacy school with my 4.0 GPA in college (Chemistry major) and all the well roundedness, and I got my rejection letters from each of the 5 colleges that I applied to. I wasn't even sure what to do with my life at that point because I had had it all planned out. 

The rejection of dating someone for 4.5 years and they completely change and fall in love with someone else. Laying awake every night in heart break agony and the only coping mechanism you know being food. Legit, I'll never forget these few months of my life. The rejection has never felt so real and so raw and the pain will be something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. (Cheated on in two different serious relationships-YEP-heard that right-Whomp)

Katiesfitscript as a brand, and me as a person in the small business world has been rejected more times than you could ever imagine. I don't say that as a pity statement (or any of these life events for that matter) but simply to say that time changes everything and hard work ALWAYS pays off. If you are rejected by something, that doesn't mean that your life is meant for rejection and not for greatness. NEVER stop dreaming. NEVER stop working hard. We have these standards of limitations in our lives that are set by those around us on what they think we can do and what they allow us to do through their acceptance or rejection. Don't listen to that. Listen to the beat of your heart and the purpose that you feel that you are here to accomplish, and pursue that...with all that you are. Never back down because if you stop then you'll never get anywhere but if you just keep on pushing then one day you get to THIS point....you get to the point where you can look back and say "THIS and THAT and THIS happened so that I could experience this RIGHT NOW" and in those moments, it's all worth it. Every moment of rejection that you felt is worth it when you make it to the other side.

How beautiful of a picture of God's love and never ending grace as well. I look at my life and think "WHY did I not see my worth in you all along Jesus!!?" Why did I so desperately cling to all of these worldly things that will always fail me. That's the beauty of Christ and knowing that your worth really ultimately has nothing to do with what you look like or how smart you are or what your career is, but rather your relationship with Him. It's such a peaceful feeling. My mom is about the closest picture I have of the depth of love of the Father...a love so deep that each time that I felt this rejection (or you feel this rejection), he was standing there with open arms waiting for me to cry but to say "Dry your tears because none of that matters" and I truly believe that. He cares so deeply for your emotions, but He also wants you to know that you are worthy and to live life with confidence in that.

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