I can't believe last week is behind me...thank you Lord. haha!
The weirdest part about all of it... I was never sore?? I'm so confused, and maybe I just honestly have trained that well, but I was almost annoyed because I worked so hard and wanted to like feel the burn that gave me that deep hunger. HAHA!! Is that weird? It's like when I used to play soccer, and every now and then I'd get hit right in the face with a ball. I like WANTED my entire face to bruise so that I could have war wounds and people would be like "omg what happened?" and I'd be like "ya know, I'm just so tough and all" hahaha!! Of course that never happens though! ;)
Either way, it makes me feel super confident going into the ironman that things are going well! Honestly, I was STRUGGLING to want to do it, but like I always tell myself, I knew I had to just put one foot in front of the other and just get started and then I'd be okay. There were SO many times on my 20 mile run, 4200 yard swim, and 100 mile cycle that I said "its fine, I can just not go this far and I'll still make it on race day" but I knew that this weekend was crucial and that I had to just stick it out. I'm glad I did the 20 miles first because it gave me confidence like "okay that huge workout is done." But I have a confession to make that I think you all know already but I'm just gonna be forward about it...
I've officially decided biking is not for me. HA! I'll OBVIOUSLY be biking hard core for the next 4 weeks, but I have tried and tried and tried, and now I'm actually pretty good at it and I still just don't like it. I want to like it. I want to love it. I have days where I fall in love as the wind is going through my face down a hill, and then I start the climb on the other side and I'm like "yea no." hahaha! I think I want to make this point...
Sometimes, in our lives, we have dreams that once we get knee deep in them, we think "Wow, this really isn't something that I love." I have struggled with that so much because I've felt like I've "failed" as an endurance athlete or triathlete, but the truth is that we all have different passions and strengths and that's what makes the world go round and THAT'S OKAY. Y'all know how I feel about running. We share a deep love, but I've found myself so tired from biking that I can't even enjoy running. I find the long runs I have to go so much slower than normal to be able to make it through without having to stop and walk (2 weeks ago I had to walk on an 18 miler and I was like 'AH HECK NO!').
The other point is: I believe in 100% commitment that once you are IN, you are IN. You give your all and a year ago I decided that this was something that I wanted to do which is why all along this journey when I've fallen on the bike, hated the bike, etc etc, I have KEPT pedaling because I just refuse. I'm not trying to act like I'm superwoman or something, but just that I never want to look back and say "What if I had tried harder? Maybe I would have fallen in love with the bike." NOWWWWW, I can say that I did it. I gave it everything that I had, and it wasn't as much my thing.
Here's the last thing: I am doing some LONGGGG biking. Who does like riding 100 miles? Probably not many people. I could do a half ironman tomorrow no problem, and the bike would feel easy and a year ago it felt as awful as awful can be. It's all perspective, and I can't expect to go from hardly knowing how to switch gears to riding 100 miles comfortably. It takes time and I get that, so I encourage you that if you are someone that doesn't like to run, STICK IT OUT. Give it time and see if you could fall in love. You might, and you might not. And if you get to the end of your journey and think "I still don't like this!" then that's okay too but at least you gave it your all.
This weekend, my mother in law came to visit. I told Tanner that I was so sorry but that I really couldn't hang out because I had to train so much and this was my peak weekend. I honestly get upset when training interferes with spending time with the ones I love, but I digress. haha! Either way, she came and they hung out most of the time until Saturday evening and we went to dinner in town. I seriously forgot she was coming (peak week brain-hahahaha-I kinda say that picking on bodybuilding competitors hehe), and so I didn't have any food in the house and my house was not clean. SCORE for me, right? haha! We took her to the Mcdonalds drive-through on Sunday morning for breakfast because we are classy like that.
We went to church on Sunday, and I'm so blessed by such a beautiful community of believers at my church. Seriously, they are amazing and the entire church is volunteer based but yet we have such amazing speakers and worship. It's cool to see the Lord work through that. (And yes you heard that right-we have no established pastor, no positions, we don't pass the offering around and our church is modeled after the early church where people just basically gather almost like a spiffed up bible study and we believe that as a team we can all contribute and make it all work. It's very special.)
Wrapping up this super scattered blog about my weekend, I just want to say PUMPKIN SPICE. In my coffee. Right now. And I'm pretty much pumped about it. I think I'll have 47 cups today.
HOPE YALL HAD AN AWESOME WEEKEND!