Self Confidence is More Important Than Weight Loss (At ANY weight)

So, that's quite the lengthy caption but I felt it necessary to explain what this blog post was going to be about. Can I admit something? I don't necessarily miss instagramming but I miss blogging. I really think that I just love to write, and I'm not sure how regular this blog will be, but man I miss connecting with you guys in this space, so here I am. I'm not sure if you had the chance to catch my podcast that I did with Radiant Collective, but it was all about the reasons behind why I stopped the instagramming, and about World Hunger Project, so if you are interested, check that out HERE. 

So, I have had an upswing in people wanting to work with me over the past week which is actually really ironic considering I'm getting into the full swing of my full time job as well. To be honest, it was time for some structure and purpose. I was feeling a bit .... lacking in purpose if you will. But, every single time I've noticed that women come to me for weight loss, and while I think that it is a valuable tool to learn all the ropes of weight loss and nutrition, I think it's equally if not MOST important to learn how to love yourself in that first. 

I know what you're thinking... WE GET IT. SELF LOVE BLAH BLAH. Believe me, I feel that on a spiritual level, and this is not about that. Really. I am a firm believer even when people won't agree with me that it's OKAYYYYY to go on a weight loss journey and it's OKAYYY to have goals. That does not mean that you hate yourself or that you loathe the journey. It just simply means that you have goals or it might even mean that you need to for your disease states that are present. That's actually what my job is now-just more in person coaching essentially with those with chronic disease states. 

This client wrote this to me: 

"Today's picture I am healthy and whole in body, mind and spirit. Food is no longer the enemy. There is freedom in today's picture. Freedom found through your careful and loving guidance.
I was a woman who struggled every single day that was DRAWN to u by your passionate love for Christ and genuine love for your dear husband. It was that and that alone that gave me the courage to reach out to u for help.
Thank u my friend. I am forever grateful."

I think that intuitive eating gets bigger and bigger and I think that it's wonderful if you are set up with all the tools to be able to do this appropriately, and you spend some time working on your metabolism to be able to handle it. My mom is a great example of someone who has a great body image, doesn't struggle with food or anything, but is simply almost always in either a gaining or a losing season. When she intuitively eats, she gains weight. And she's not an overeater. She is from the south where everything is deep fried, and bad for you. I think intuitive eating requires an element of CONSCIOUS eating, where most of the time you are eating things that nourish your body and are good for you. My mom could care less about that. I mean I'm not throwing her under the bus, but simply saying that intuitive eating isn't for everyone or at least has to be taught to some. 

But self confidence in your journey most definitely is. 

I'm sure that there is research on this, but in all of my work with hundreds of women with weight loss goals, if there is obsession, there is less all areas. Mental, physical, spiritual. If there is obsession and self loathing then no matter how much weight is lost, or how much results are gained, there is still dissatisfaction. You will hear over and over again from girls that compete that they are their happiest when they have MORE body fat on them, when their heads are more clear because when they are having to diet down to get lean then they start obsessing over food which makes them obsess over their body's. 

I truly believe that living in a state of mental happiness is much more important than even disease states from weight management, because when you are mentally able to work things out, you begin to physically work them out as well. If you are overeating, undereating, or have any sort of relationship with food, there is most likely something underlying that you are dealing with. This could be issues that range across the board to something simple that you could talk through or some deep seeded self esteem issues or family problems. We all handle these emotions differently and many take this out on food in one way or the other. If you are one of these people then going on a weight loss plan is the last thing that you need to do. 

You need to fix what is going on mentally FIRST and then you can focus on the other. What if you just lived at peace with yourself for ONE week? What if you allowed yourself that? That's the problem. When women become obsessive about food, it never ends. 

Food addiction in whatever respect that it is is all encompassing, because food doesn't go away. Alcohol addiction-you remove the alcohol. Cigarettes-you remove the cigarettes. You don't go around these things and you completely remove them from your life. With food, this is not allowed. If you are someone with a previous problem or relationship with food then you MUST figure out a way to navigate those issues because this is something that you will be dealing with every single day for the rest of your life. 

Food is not the enemy. Our minds are. 

When I say self confidence, I don't necessarily mean self love. I think that these go hand in hand, but I think that self confidence means that deep down, you know who you are, and you're okay with it. Self love is more like "Oh I'm rocking it in this bathing suit no matter what I weigh" and that's wonderful as well, but self love won't come if you don't have self confidence. This is something that I've learned over the years, and this year I was gripped with the reality of my lack of self confidence. I had worked so hard on self love, but I had forgotten that other piece. 

So whether you have 5lbs to lose or you have 100lbs that you might need to lose, you first are going to have to search yourself and find who you are and be okay with that person. Once that trust is there, then you are able to move forward and know that what you're doing for yourself is out of love because you know that the journey is healthy and good for you and NOT one that is destructive and out of self hatred. 

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