The longer that I go into this health coaching area of life and experience different types of people, I learn more and more just about how weight loss is not black and white and it's not really about just "dieting" but so much more about psychology as well.
I am really big on allowing yourself to have goals-reasonable, well thought out and good intentioned goals. I believe that you can do this without obsession and I believe that healthy foods make me feel good and I do not eat them because I'm obsessive. If I want a cookie, I have a cookie. I have glasses of wine. I don't track anymore. I intuitively eat, and I actually eat healthier now than ever before, mostly plant based. But the point of this is that it was a journey to get to where I am. And I think that it's okay to allow yourself that grace to go on your journey too to find your happy place.
(I will be getting to the point soon about the title but it needs a lead in)
You know your heart. You know what is making you crazy, and I think it's really important to evaluate that at each step of your journey. I think that we need to LISTEN TO OURSELVES and honor those emotions. Over the past year, I've had quite a journey with food simply because I really wanted to be more vegan because I ethically believe in it, but it was hard. It was uncomfortable, and it took lots of new tries. That's life, and if you want something sometimes you are going to have to work for it. The same goes for running. I don't always love my runs, but most of the time I do. I know that the finish line is always worth it, so I stick through the hard times.
I told yall my training program not long ago, and that I was doing 70 miles/week. Well I got to Miami, and yea right, that wasn't happening there because it's hot, and I straight up didn't feel like it. So, absolutely no guilt needed, I just ran the mornings I felt like it on this 8 mile loop. I love 8 miles. It just feels so good and lasts one hour. It's perfect. Sure, I could have obsessed over getting more miles in, but that's the kind of behavior that I'm talking about-it's silly and unnecessary and takes the fun out of everything that you are doing. WHY oh WHY would you do something that you didn't enjoy for a PR? Like legit no one cares about your PR but you. And no one cares about your weight but you. It's tough love but I think you know this.
That doesn't mean you don't try though. That doesn't mean you throw your hands up in the air. It doesn't have to be this all or nothing. But you need to be able to trust your instincts and know that you mentally got your ish together to be able to do just that.
You need to recognize that your ideal weight may not be your natural weight.
This is a concept that is the hardest to accept, but you NEED to really think this through. You can force weight loss. Absolutely. But what is the point of that if your body is just going to fight you the entire time to get back up to a more regular weight for you? You will be living in the back and forth instead of just accepting it as is because you WILL gain it back if your body doesn't like sitting lower. If you have existed on the internet then you have seen transformations on instagram, and sometimes those transformations take years, and sometimes people seemingly transform over night, but you have to remember that your genetic make up is NOT theirs. The way that you were raised, the sports that you played as a child, the culture that you geographically happen to be in have all come together to form what is your body now. You CAN continuously work towards maybe some arbitrary end goal that you have, but you need to be reasonable.
Some of the things that are a red flag are:
- Do you feel constantly hungry but not losing weight?
- Do you feel faint/dizzy while dieting? (I mean I feel this is a DUH but some girls will force past this point)
- Do you keep lowering calories with no weight loss?
- Do you feel as if you eat a small amount of food and gain weight instantly?
All of this points to basically the same thing-you are trying really really hard and it's just not happening. You start lowering calories more and more to hit this ideal body weight that you for yourself, and it's just not happening. You won't accept it, so you add in more cardio. You stay at the gym two hours. You literally don't care what you have to do. We have all seen this happen. I'm going to let you know sister that it's ALL a WASTE.OF.YOUR.TIME. There is no one, and I mean no one who can last in this type of "famine". Our biology is simply not designed for it. If you are dieting and dieting and dieting then you are just messing with your metabolism, and forcing something that you aren't meant to be and that's when you experience the "I gain weight by looking at a cookie." Well because you're forcing a weight that is not yours or have messed up your metabolism. That's NOT normal.
Let this be my battle cry for you to just sit down, have a good cry and let go of the dieting. Seriously. Just stop. Live your life. Are you going to be 85 years old pushing low calories? NO. I'm not a good example of this, and I understand that. My natural frame is small. I can get abs with higher calories, and I feel this sets women up with a false expectation of what might not be okay for them personally.
Research shows over and over again that dieting like this always ends in failure, and that intuitively eating in the long run with a healthier twist is what is best. That's what we are all going to go towards eventually. I mean really, you think we are going to count macros at age 70. Yea no. lolz. Just be you NOW and don't waste all these years. I think it's really important to add that intuitive eating from my early years means literally only fast food. Like that would be my choice. every day. every meal. And growing up that's all I ate. My body didn't intuitively tell me that it wanted greens...like ever. So, I think that you need to learn about food. Nutrition is important, and a healthy weight for chronic disease is important, but sometimes...
You just gotta let go and let live. Stop forcing the body that is not yours <3