I know that this past year has been a whirlwind for me – a whirlwind of feeling like I’m not reaching my fullest potential – a year where I’ve sat back and “rested” but really it’s just been a slump of not wanting to do anything productive. It’s been a year of watching life pass me by wondering when things are going to click back into place or that I’ll stop getting to the end of the day and saying “oh great, I wasted tons of time again.” The one thing that I’ve given “energy” towards is my brain and learning new things.
Here were part of the things that gave me hardship in reaching my potential:
a) I felt like if I was going to spend time on something, it needed to be the ‘perfect’ thing, and because I couldn’t find the right things to put my energy toward, I just didn’t put any
b) I didn’t feel fully at peace with life therefore I didn’t feel like reaching limitless potential was even something I was remotely interested in
c) I got a touch pessimistic “I’m just this one girl in a small town and not many people ever know what I do, check in with me to see how I am, or care at all so what’s the point?” – this are all lie narratives in my brain but just explaining why I’ve just been completely absent.
I look back on the past few years and I look to the times when I felt the best and was thriving and those were the moments when I was reaching in all directions to reach my fullest potential. I have realized that I’m one of those “high energy” people, and for so long I listened to the narrative that unless I was really reigning myself in and “resting” then I wasn’t doing life right.
I’ve realized that there is a difference between peace and rest. I find peace to be what I seek, and peace for me is found through also living a fulfilled life. Living a full life to me means reaching consistently for my fullest potential because if not then I just feel rather purposeless. For a long long time, I actually have found that to be a problem so I’ve continually worked through this, over and over and over again coming back to the same research and the same conclusion – that it’s okay to want fulfillment and purpose and there is nothing wrong with feeling in a funk when we don’t have that because it’s in our human nature to want to feel like we have a purpose.
I put in my retainers last night (yes, I just switched to speaking about my retainers lol) and realized that I got these retainers 14 years previously. FOURTEEN YEARS. It was this realization that life flies by and if you aren’t seeking your best, then you will literally look back and fourteen years pass you by.
When I run, it’s like the emotions of my life just come through me and I’m able to work through them and let them go. It’s a state of meditation for me. When I wake in the mornings, I have started a practice of 5 minutes of meditation. It goes by so fast, but it feels so good to spend five minutes every morning just focusing on my breathing before I go get my coffee. If I’m working out in the mornings then I get that five minutes, then I also get a run and by 630am, my workout is done and I literally feel like I could take on the world.
We have to be careful how deep we let ourselves get into our thoughts. We have to be careful how much we let our traumas whether big or small keep us back from our potential because until I had experienced going through the fire, I didn’t know about the flames. We have to be able to feel our emotions and then release. It’s so easy to allow yourself to sink into those negative emotions, and I do it frequently, and I’m always learning, but there comes those moments where you say enough is enough and start reaching for the stars.
When you look to the origin of emotions and the research, it becomes clear that emotions are so much more complex than an external stimulus that we are reacting to. As the age old phrase goes, “You choose to be happy” or “You make the choice to continue to love” and with intensive meta-analysis of all of the literature surrounding which parts of the brain do what, they see now that it’s not just about reactionary emotions but networks of neurons we set in place formulating tracts that we let ourselves go down and it takes EFFORT to break those. But, let’s break em
We truly only get one life, and I’ve experienced such loss that I see how fleeting it can be. We can either sink into our negative thoughts or we can live out our unique gifts for the world. When you step into your unique gifts, you realize that your potential is limitless and your passion is on fire and your energy is directed into those spaces instead of the anxieties that life can bring. Sometimes it might be as simple as an energy re-direct. Time to take on the world, y’all